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May. 13th, 2015 05:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shanonomg i got LAYOUTS and the comment pages too lookin right thank u jesus!!!!!!!!!!
shanon and ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rps2
godddddddd i feel so weird and rusty at like writing rp responses too like i read so many old things on here and i got so into it and i REMEMBER how it was and how after awhile characters just kind of take the wheel and do their thing and it was honestly so cathartic and good like, i remember investing so much emotion into shit??? like really FEELING scenarios lmao and especially the rly fucked up shit it was a good stress relief idk!!!!!! i think it will come back to me, though bc i remember when i first started rping i sucked then too and felt awkward as hell and couldn't fully connect with my characters at first until i got a feel for them and let them take control instead of being aprehensive of what i'm thinking?? its like.. still there but not at the point it used to be i guess it's sort of taken a backseat due to how long its been
and its even the same with just writing personal things about myself? like.. i used to go on long tangents on tumblr and write in long detail how i feel about shit and sometimes i would get in these manic psychotic episodes where i wouldn't even remember writing the things i did and how i was able to go into such detail about shit and i haven't done that in forever because i feel closed up again, like i rebuilt the wall that i had, that had been worn away over years of "trusting" people and letting people in but my mistrust and negativity helped build it back up again so talking about myself, other than random thoughts and outbursts on twitter isn't something i really like to do anymore or comes easily to me
WHICH IS... why im glad about rping again because honestly being able to write and feel through a character really helped me understand and connect with MYSELF its helpful and theraputic, i never had any points of reference or guidance in my life as a child and teenager and so i kind of always relied on.. "weird", non-conventional ways of expressing and understanding myself hmm
im also really excited about the changes ive decided to make to my characters!!!
IM TRYING TO THINK OF THINGS THO LIKE IDKFK ILL PROLLY COME BACK TO THIS......
like idk i am trying to think of shanon's teen yrs like i think that she gets into the dealing buisiness when she is in her foster home and her drug problems probably begin there as well due to easy access and the enviornment, like.... she prolly gets caught stealing pills/money eventually and so she has to pay ~debt and sell and then she just keeps doing it but she does more drugs than she sells and it really fucks her over lmao idk tho like she still doesnt entirely HATE IT bc i feel like her dealer group home thing she lives in is the closest thing to a "family" she ever had?? i still rly want kaeya n her bf/husband w/e to be involved too, like i always thought her backstory was interesting that is why i put the idea out there about in this universe that shit still going on n her and shanon will still be involved with each other but from a completely different perspective and relationship IDK IT COULD BE NEAT......
i think beyond that, anything else will have to be developed through rping or like just shooting ideas around lmao but i have something of a "plot" if that.... lmao i guess "BASIS" OR "IDEA" there to go off
shanon and rps2 godddddddd i feel so weird and rusty at like writing rp responses too like i read so many old things on here and i got so into it and i REMEMBER how it was and how after awhile characters just kind of take the wheel and do their thing and it was honestly so cathartic and good like, i remember investing so much emotion into shit??? like really FEELING scenarios lmao and especially the rly fucked up shit it was a good stress relief idk!!!!!! i think it will come back to me, though bc i remember when i first started rping i sucked then too and felt awkward as hell and couldn't fully connect with my characters at first until i got a feel for them and let them take control instead of being aprehensive of what i'm thinking?? its like.. still there but not at the point it used to be i guess it's sort of taken a backseat due to how long its been
and its even the same with just writing personal things about myself? like.. i used to go on long tangents on tumblr and write in long detail how i feel about shit and sometimes i would get in these manic psychotic episodes where i wouldn't even remember writing the things i did and how i was able to go into such detail about shit and i haven't done that in forever because i feel closed up again, like i rebuilt the wall that i had, that had been worn away over years of "trusting" people and letting people in but my mistrust and negativity helped build it back up again so talking about myself, other than random thoughts and outbursts on twitter isn't something i really like to do anymore or comes easily to me
WHICH IS... why im glad about rping again because honestly being able to write and feel through a character really helped me understand and connect with MYSELF its helpful and theraputic, i never had any points of reference or guidance in my life as a child and teenager and so i kind of always relied on.. "weird", non-conventional ways of expressing and understanding myself hmm
im also really excited about the changes ive decided to make to my characters!!!
IM TRYING TO THINK OF THINGS THO LIKE IDKFK ILL PROLLY COME BACK TO THIS......
like idk i am trying to think of shanon's teen yrs like i think that she gets into the dealing buisiness when she is in her foster home and her drug problems probably begin there as well due to easy access and the enviornment, like.... she prolly gets caught stealing pills/money eventually and so she has to pay ~debt and sell and then she just keeps doing it but she does more drugs than she sells and it really fucks her over lmao idk tho like she still doesnt entirely HATE IT bc i feel like her dealer group home thing she lives in is the closest thing to a "family" she ever had?? i still rly want kaeya n her bf/husband w/e to be involved too, like i always thought her backstory was interesting that is why i put the idea out there about in this universe that shit still going on n her and shanon will still be involved with each other but from a completely different perspective and relationship IDK IT COULD BE NEAT......
i think beyond that, anything else will have to be developed through rping or like just shooting ideas around lmao but i have something of a "plot" if that.... lmao i guess "BASIS" OR "IDEA" there to go off
